Daniel, does this look like it fits??: 5 indicators that it’s not working anymore.

I’m in my early 30s, so if you are as old as I am then you know that your body changes sizes from time to time.

(I know, who needs THAT reminder?)

But seriously, what clothes that fitted you last year may not be so comfortable on you right now. I mean, am I right??

Here’s the journey between you and that piece of clothing: You walk into the store; you chose an aisle; you see the clothing; you try it on; it fits you; you love it, and you bring it home to keep it with you. Now it’s a year later and you’re just not the same size anymore. The clothing doesn’t fit you like it did, so you need it to be altered or you give it away and try to replace it.

Does that sound right?

When it comes to you career, your social groups, your love life…. are you trying something on that does not fit you like it used to?? Maybe you aren’t sure.

Here are 5 indicators that suggests what you are doing is not fitting you anymore:

  1. You are not willing to be patient. Loving what you do is like caring deeply for someone. You are willing to stretch yourself for what it is that you care for, and when you stretch yourself, you’re willing to be patient with the imperfect properties of that job, event, sport,person, etc.
  2. You don’t make time to know it. If you are like me, I like to study new things that I encounter. When I started my hotel job, I wanted to know every part of the hotel because I was fully vested into my new job. I was excited to learn all about it.
  3. When you talk about it, it makes you depressed. Now, I have a personal motto that I have written in another post somewhere on here: Just because it is difficult, does not mean that you shouldn’t do it. I still stand by it, but mental illness is a real thing and it needs to be guarded against if whatever you are doing or apart of is causing you to be depressed or mentally unstable. Nothing is worth your quality of life and emotional health to be deteriorated by.
  4. You constantly devalue yourself. Being able to recognize when you are not much of an asset to a situation takes skill and can be very sobering. No one wants to feel worthless. However, there are things that every human being is not good at, and others are. You tried to fit on the career of a musician but restaurants and bars aren’t booking you anymore like they used to. When friends ask you how the career is going, you consistently are expressing how bad the turnouts are. You see the signs, you sang your last song. Maybe it’s time to cut the lights, leave the stage and shut down the studio.
  5. Your livelihood is suffering consistently. Come on, you know it. We all need money to live on. We cannot live well without it. It’s good to do or be apart of something that we love, but if our livelihoods are suffering, then we are doing ourselves a disservice. On top of that, if we have a child or a family that is dependent on us-that’s double shame on us if we are not trying to look for a better situation that will be financially beneficial for all who are involved. In essence, don’t settle for a mediocre situation that is just having you scrape by. If it is not helping you financially, spiritually, mentally, and /or physically-more than likely the situation doesn’t fit you.

Please don’t hear what I am not saying. Setbacks happen in a lot of good situations for us. However, there is usually a way to conquer those setbacks, should we need to continue to pursue what we are pursuing.

What I am trying to imply is that we should not waste time on something or someone(all 5 indicators can apply to a romantic relationship!) that is not worth pursuing any further. Time is one of our most precious commodities and it needs to be used wisely. Plus seasons come, and seasons go. What once fitted you lasted for a season, but that is it.

For tips on finding something that does fit, see if these tips will help you.

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I am a 32 year-old central floridian. I work at a 4-Diamond hotel in Florida. I live with a roommate who is so different than me, it's insane, but we make it work. Also, I am a 6'3" tall, 240 lb black, straight man who wants to blog about self-care!

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