Two weeks ago, I had a good cry. It wasn’t a joyful, happy cry. Still, it was a good cry.
2019 Was Not Going How I Wanted It To
When I entered 2019, I felt like I can take on the world. I have never been so hyped for a new year. In my mind, I kept thinking about all the lessons I have learned in 2018 concerning areas in my life where I have failed and areas that I am just beginning to learn about. I have felt equipped to be successful. I mean, I have watched most of the Shark Tank episodes that have ever aired! I have read many, many articles on life in general. I felt like God has been on my side. Also, I have come into this year, being backed with a wonderful group of friends and family members( like my mom!) who keep me accountable about life and spirituality. I can’t lose! I was high in spirit because of those things and so much more..
Until two weeks ago….
I was still struggling financially. I was about to be broke again. I have several ideas and projects that I have started that I felt were hitting walls. I was back in a familiar place that I have tried to shut out for a long time. Despair. I hate that place. The good cry came from that place, however. There are so many things that can make you feel comfortable with your humanity, and that was what happened with me. To me, it was good to feel human.
What happened was I felt defeated and maybe a little restless. I tell people that one of the worst feelings for me as an optimistic person is to feel so much potential inside of myself and my callings and yet not see an ounce of provision come from those ideas. It’s horrible to feel like you are a constant failure. That day, I felt that way again. I went into my room, got on my bed and just wept. It was that kind of cry where you knew that your sadness cannot be translated into English. I was crying with the language of the depths of my soul. That language needed to be expressed.
Know When You Are Acquainted With Grief
I must mention something. After expressing myself in that way, I felt a release. See, I know of people who bottle up their emotions, thinking that it is such a weak thing to show that emotion in a healthy way. They don’t know how to express their emotions because of that, and that is damaging to the soul! I believe that parents can fail to connect with their children in a deeper way because of that. I believe relationships become fractured because of that. I also believe that self-awareness is severely skewed because of that. It is so important, especially for me, to acknowledge when they are acquainted with grief, and that is what I did. I acknowledged it and I let it out. It is probably for multiple reasons too. One is, I am too weak to hold it in! One way or another, the fruit of my emotions will show. That can be in a constructive, healthy manner or in a violent, messy manner. For me, that day I had to let it out before God, on my bed for twenty minutes or so. Even Jesus, the most influential, powerful being that ever lived, was a man who was acquainted with grief(Isaiah 53:3). That meant that his life was marked with sadness.With humanity being made in his image,we can all learn from the way that he had handled his emotions, which typically involved prayer to Almighty God, especially in his most darkest of times.
It is a lifelong journey, but your wholeness is partially dependent on knowing how to express yourself emotionally both privately and publicly.
Whether you are a man or woman, you are an emotional being that needs to learn how to express your grief in a healthy way. Whether it is anger, frustration, stress, anxiety, pain, offense or happiness, joy, peace and love. Believe me, none of that is learned overnight. It is a lifelong journey, but your wholeness is partially dependent on knowing how to express yourself emotionally both privately and publicly. Evaluate yourself emotionally right now with the following questions:
- In the last week, how would you grade yourself emotionally on a scale from 1 to 10? 1- You KNOW that you had no idea how to emotionally express yourself and 10- You believe that you are well-aware of your emotional state and are happy with the results.
- What would your closest friends say about you emotionally?
- What are some of your common habits when you experience depressing emotions?Believe it or not, eating chocolate and sugar constantly could be an indication that you deal with sadness in an unhealthy way. You may not know it until you examine your ways.
- What are you doing to improve your emotional state? Do you seek counsel? Do you read helpful resources?Why or why not?Honestly ask yourself that question.
- Do you think that showing your emotions is weak?
Friend, there is a time to be tough through the worst of times. However, it is never weak to fully embrace your humanity. That means acknowledging your strengths, identifying your weakness, asking for help in those areas and seeking God to help you see who you truly shall become.
To share my thoughts after I had that episode of a good cry, I came away with a simple truth. A good cry is a great reset button. After you release what you feel, I truly believe that you can think more clearly on how to deal with what you are feeling. It makes it all the more easier to move on. We can trap ourselves consciously and subconsciously with suppressed emotion that is buried in our hearts and minds.
Friend, whether you are single, married, a parent or an empty-nester, find a way to be emotionally healthy. The resources are out there for whatever state you are in. I know it. You know it. Be emotionally free.