This past Saturday, I had a conversation with someone that went way deeper than anticipated. I contacted this person after not contacting them for several weeks, (maybe even a month) while knowing that she had underwent surgery. She did tell me that it was going to be a long recovery too. However I did not call her as often as I could have. A lot of it had to do with making life stable for me, yet still the phone call needed to be made. Funny thing about this phone call: Before anyone said a word on the phone, I felt the guilt of not being there for her already.
It is true that I had a lot going on in my life. I have been trying to make ends meet, work an odd schedule at work, fellowship with friends that enrich my life through get togethers and not do crazy and stupid things that will compromise whatever integrity that I have(It can be hard to stay sane in this insane world!). I ALWAYS have my own battles to deal with, BUT so do my friends. In this case my friend has been having her battle, and I was not there to help her through it.
I know that I can’t please everyone, and I am quite comfortable with that fact, I will let people down. Friends will misinterpret my actions and friends will discern my intentions correctly. I can accept that. What I can’t accept is knowing when a friend is in pain and not asking how they are doing with it. I can’t accept myself being so engulfed in my own world that I don’t make a 5 minute phone call to a friend to see how they are. I have forgiven myself, but the thought of not doing something about those type of things is never acceptable.
The call brought some healing to our friendship. It involved me listening to this friend and hear all of her thoughts and feelings about me. I apologized to her as sincerely as I possibly can. The tears were shed but more importantly, the hearts were heard( which makes up about 90% of great communication btw!).
Some of you may be someone whom I have not talked to in a while. You might feel neglected by me or hurt in some other way by me not taking the time to see how you are. I would say that I am sorry but that would be so in-genuine because I won’t know if that is the case unless we talk about it. I will write this one thing though. You better believe that if I sense that there is some form of conflict and offense between you and I, I will reach out to you to make things right. When someone(like my friend) has invested into you but they don’t (rightfully) feel the return investment from you, they will lose the energy to be your friend. This isn’t about doing things to receive things, this is about human nature and our need to love one another. With that said, it is safe to write that all relationships should be two-way streets.
P.S.- It’s rare that you meet a friend at first sight. You first meet a stranger and if you use your time well with that person, it is THEN when you find a friend.
I have found this friend years ago. Because of our longevity things should not have transpired as they did. Although she may not be ready to consider me as a friend right now(and that is okay!), I still consider her as my friend. We both have left the door open for things to be right again and that is all that I can ask for.
Last thing. If you are thinking about someone right now that you have not talked to for whatever reason, well, they are on your mind for a reason. Give them a call, send an e-mail, facetime them or something if you know that the time is right. If you don’t know if the time is right, do it anyway and figure it out from there. A simple phone call can mean the WORLD to someone you know. Friendships due tend to end prematurely because a phone call wasn’t made or a message wasn’t sent. To me, that is a poor way to end a friendship.