Be In Your Feelings

One Wednesday night, I have spoken to a young teenager about some things she was going through. During that time, she was experiencing a lot of changes. Being the eldest daughter in a family with 5 children and three girls, certain pressures were getting to her( which were understandably so).

Whether or not the pressures were justly warranted , I did not know. I only knew as much about her situations as she had told me. It was different to hear what she was going through because normally she’s has the happy-go-lucky type of personality, which smiles even when she has nothing to smile about. It’s as if she doesn’t get exhausted from smiling. However, this time, she hardly was smiling.

She felt like so much was asked of her by her parents. She was doing well in school, but she needed to keep the grades up. She can legally drive, so she was relied upon to drive her siblings. By the way, she began duel-enrolling with college too…….and, she started working her first job, which was at Chick-fil-A.
So much was on this poor teenager’s plate!

As she told me her story, I saw the face of someone whom looked like they have forgotten what it means to just breathe! She didn’t ask for it but all I can feel was empathy and pity for her. Seeing her distress and hearing her talk reminded me that it is SO HARD to live life with stress that you weren’t ready for.

That teen is still the type who wants to see what she is made of. She is the type to stand up against challenges. I mean, ever since she was a little girl, her family has faced challenge, after challenge, after challenge! You would not believe! I am talking about things like living in a neighborhood where an armed man was hiding to run away from the police and it is being recorded on live television, receiving violent threats from deranged people for being nice to those peoples’ relatives, and on and on and on.

In spite of all of those problems, the problem that she was struggling with is the pressure to be perfect in multiple arenas.

I get it. It happens. Sometimes, a person can inadvertently make another person feel pressured to be perfect, but why can’t we just allow others to be “in their feelings” sometimes? Friend, humans are emotional beings. You are an emotional being. If you feel like you always need to keep your emotions pinned up inside, you need to find freedom now.

It’s okay to be vulnerable and if you won’t be vulnerable with others, at least be vulnerable with yourself. Your feelings are meant to be tapped into and dealt with but not with carelessness, but with dignity. Don’t be violent with your emotions. Hurting people because you are hurting will not heal your pain. If you are angry, go somewhere and just scream. If you are sad, write a song or poem about it, if you are lonely, just call or text someone and talk. If you have kids and you can’t do any of those things because they’re in the house, find a way to let yourself go without disturbing them.

The worst thing that you can do is keep your feelings bottled up. Let them go.

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I am a 32 year-old central floridian. I work at a 4-Diamond hotel in Florida. I live with a roommate who is so different than me, it's insane, but we make it work. Also, I am a 6'3" tall, 240 lb black, straight man who wants to blog about self-care!

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